When a Doctor passes comment that your eczema isn't severe and almost implies that you should stop moaning, it's not easy to take that on the chin. I had terrible eczema as a child. The kind that cracks, bleeds and weeps every time you move. I don't suffer to that extent any more. I am very much aware that my eczema isn't severe. Some may say I am lucky but I certainly don't feel it. Why am I made to feel like I can't cry about my eczema? Surely it does not matter how much or how little your body is affected, eczema is still eczema, it carries the same woes and feelings.
For several years I have been experiencing eczema on my chest. Right there on my lady bumps and sometimes it slowly creeps towards my belly button. I am also experiencing redness under my eyes and shoulders. My eczema is fickle, it comes and goes. It can be mild one day and nasty the next. Eczema anywhere on the body knocks your confidence but I hate that my body decided to chose my boobs. It doesn't make me feel sexy. I hate having bra fittings even after all these years I feel like people are worried they may catch my "disease". I find myself rambling to shop assistants that I have eczema and I am sorry she has to see it. I am mortified when I try on black clothing and it looks like I have dandruff. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much moisturiser you apply it is never enough.
I dread the winter months. No one likes dark nights and cold weather but for me I have to face my kryptonite. Hibernating does you no favors because if the weather doesn't get you the central heating will. Your handbag is suddenly over flowing with moisturisers, hand and body creams so you can maintain dignity at work because come lunch time you'll have crocodile skin.
I am stubborn with my skin. I won't resort to prescriptions. I am anti-steroids. My own experience teaches me that these treatments solve my problems in the short term but the long term damage is irreparable. I believe in natural remedies. I see positive results but they are not miracle “cures” and take time to work. I have a routine. I carefully chose ingredients and rotate my products to accommodate how fickle my skin appears to have become.
I am writing this blog post after suffering a raging skin flare up. My skin is itchy, sore, inflamed and looks like I have a burn. I have narrowed this episode down to three possible triggers. For me eczema is a grieving process. You cry at the pain, you feel sorry for yourself, you bury your head into a bucket of ice cream (dairy free of course!) and then you decide to tackle it head on. You formulate a master plan determined that this time you will see the back of it.
I am certainly not looking for sympathy or advice. I just want to moan. I want people to understand how shit it is to have eczema. I am telling you, my readers, that even though I write about fantastic products, I am still (at times) looking for my magic “cure”.
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